Real-life Ramble

[gold_panner]

So, I turn 18 on Wednesday.

And it might not feel like such a big deal, but where I live, being 18 means you've been driving and having sex for two years, you graduated last December, and you can finally legally drink. And I haven't done any of that.

A lot of it is because I spent last year studying in Japan, and I was legally not allowed to drive etc, and because I missed a year of school in my country to do it, I have to catch up and do it now. This means I am one year older than all the other kids in my classes. It also happens to be my brother's grade. My brother and I are really close anyway, but I find it hard to really fit in in his grade. Especially with the girls. All my old friends have left to go to University in the city, so I never see them anymore, and some days I feel pretty down and lonely. And sometimes I feel like the most pathetic, boring teenager on earth. 

So, I get stuck being emo about where I am in life, and then I get on my LJ and see all these comments from people saying 'thank you', and I realise what an ass I am being. I had a really great experience, that some people would kill for. I met so many beautiful people and did some really cool things, and now I have a really important skill that I can use to make a lot of people happier and I should never forget that.

I mean, here, I have got awesome writerroterhimmel saying THEY want to stalk ME which floored me, and then the insanely kindhcb_chibi who is posting me a novel all the way from Texas just out of the kindness of their heart, which I still can't believe.

Especially you, roterhimmel. I know you're going through a rough time right now, and I wanted to put it out there that every time I read a comment from you I still feel giddy and get the urge to sing. You inspire awe, mate.

 Just want to say THANK YOU to everyone who comments here, or on HEARTSTATION, or at KHInsider, I can't tell you how much it picks me up, knowing that the stuff I'm putting out is appreciated. Love you all!  

 

Comments

[ucco.livejournal.com]

Hey hun, we may not be very close, but from the conversations I've had with you I can tell you are intelligent and witty, and of course awfully sweet. I'm just a few years ahead of you, but I wasn't much different in high school. I loathed my friends who put their boyfriends or partying in higher priority than being with friends or other creative venues.

That sort of stuff always seemed like a waste of time to me and I'm lucky enough to have a few good friends who agree with me and a best friend in particular who keeps me grounded and confident. I really hope that you don't let the pressure get to you and that you'll meet like minded people! Keep pursuing the things that make you happy and don't worry what anyone else might think. You've already accomplished a lot and like I said, I may not know you well, but I can tell you are capable of great things, so good luck to you, and I hope you have a fantastic birthday!

[gold-panner.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for saying that <3 I hope we do get to know eachother better, too. You are so cool, and you're living the life I want to be someday~ (except I get the feeling I will never get the whole website makey thing ;___;)

Luckily I have some awesome mates who are coming down this weekend to 'initiate me into the world of adulthood' (read: they've already sent me a bottle of rum so far -_-;)

I have a pretty good life and I have heaps of people in various scattered places to support me, which I'm really thankful for. It makes me feel really stupid for being emo!

Love you Olivia <3 you always say nice things

[bubblegum-miley.livejournal.com]

;O;! You mentioned me! Oh my god, I am crying now! You keep me grounded and confident too! And happy!

[hcb-chibi.livejournal.com]

#^_^# Awww, thank you! So sorry to hear your so blue! &hearts

[gold-panner.livejournal.com]

Thank me?? Thank you!!! XD

[roterhimmel.livejournal.com]

...You are kind of crazy. I still think you, um, kind of mistake me for someone else. You are REALLY sure I am the person you take me for, right? Like. MAN, I feel the urge to kiss you right now because you're just so damn awesome.

THANK YOU SO INSANELY MUCH. I'm so fucking insecure about my writing, and, you know, if people say they like it, it's like... OH GOD & *braindeath* or something. So, really, um... thank you so, so much. A question though: you mean my Kingdom Hearts fics, right? Not my Harry Potter fics? Because I know people like my HP stuff, and I'm pretty... anxious about my KH fics. So, just making sure. And NOT fishing for any more compliments, you've done enough of that, I mean, GOD. THANK YOU like OH GOD. Sorry I'm babbling shit now, but, I mean, THANK YOUUUUUU ♥♥♥

Okay, enough about that now — I don't know if that helps you any, but I can relate to you. You mean you're in your last year of high school? I'm there, too, and I'll be damn 20 next month (D:) and I'll be making my last year of (sth like high school anyway) school too, so... um. I mean I HAVE drunk before, but nothing of the other stuff you mentioned and I'm kinda two years older than you, so, yeah, who sucks now? That would be ME, ha ha.

And... I mean if you really like my fictions, do you think you could give me a prompt or anything? I feel so totally awed by what you said up there, and your birthday is soon, so I'd like to thank you in some way which would be writing a fic :) Only if you want, of course. And SORRY for the ranting and writing too much, I know I'm annoying sometimes, so if you want me to shut up, just give me a shout.

Otherwise — I hope you'll be feeling better soon.

[gold-panner.livejournal.com]

OMGOMG YOU WOULD WRITE SOMETHING FOR ME?? ASDF"LJFDS;

*backtracks*

You dork! Of course you're you. I really like your KH canon drabbles/one shots, I think you have a really good grasp on the character dynamics etc (or at least a grasp exactly like my own ;D) I think the first one I ever read of yours had Ariel in it... There was one or two sexy AUs I liked too .___.

I loved the HP novels, but I still haven't read any of the fanfic yet. I'm kinda scared at the epicness of it; I have too much schoolwork to do to get swept off my feet by another fandom, especially a huge old one that I know is just full of shiny shiny awesome... rest assured, once I do get into HP fandom, yours will be the first I read! ^__^

'Sorry for the ranting and writing too much', she says. Didn't I say reading your posts makes me want to sing?? Sure, those around me might probably rather you didn't post often (I'm not a very good singer) but I'M HAPPY!! (Besides I ramble far too much myself >___>)

One thing I reeeally admire about you is how freaking good you are, that you have such a handling on the English language that you can write things with such depth, when it's not your first language. Cause I know how hard those are, and it amazes me. Better than most natural speakers, better than me *___* So YOU DO NOT SUCK. ...And any attempts to reassure you further make me sound even stupider and more hypocritical for having my emo babble in the first place XD We're okay where we are! It's okay and natural to feel down, but completely forgetting our blessings is disloyal to those who love us, let alone ourselves. ;) To remind myself of that is why I posted in the first place, I guess. XD

WAAANT!! I would LOVELOVELOVE if you wrote me a fic, if you had time and motivation, if you didn't then it's seriously ok, just the offer of it has made me high enough!! Um... I've never given a prompt before! D: I guess... anything under 'canon universe Akuroku' would make me ecstatic!! :DDDD

^___________________________________^ (<---- digital representation of the width of my smile right now)

[roterhimmel.livejournal.com]

HO WHAT YOU'RE NOT IN THE HP FANDOM.
Whoah. That is something new. You HAVE to be in there. It's too awesome to pass up. *g*

Don't worry about the 'emo babble' — first of all, everyone needs that some time and I'm tempted to most my own babble of that sort more often than not, and I keep myself from doing so otherwise my LJ would be full of it, ha ha. Emos shall rule the world one day >:D

Canon Akuroku I can work with — any other idea? Like, what time-span? Pre-Re:COM, directly in KH2 or Re:COM or.... just about what you want. What do you like the most? Happy/Angst/Fluff/Hurt-Comfort? Please give me something to work with, so I know where I can be headed :)

[gold-panner.livejournal.com]

Well, if you rec me some good HP fics I would read them ;D I just don't think I have time to start from scratch sifting through everything DX

eee~ umm umm... I'd love either something pre-KHII (hurt-comfort *___*), or something post-KHII (I have a weird love for the InsideSora!Roxas and memory of/ghost of/reborn!Axel dynamic), but I'm not picky at all as to theme etc, whatever inspires you <3 omg <3

[roterhimmel.livejournal.com]

Oh, I can definitely do that. But be aware, once I get started on this, I can't stop, ha ha.

Both sound nice... but I'll go for the second one (post-KHII (InsideSora!Roxas and memory of/ghost of/reborn!Axel dynamic)) since I haven't written that before and it's definitely a challenge :D Would it be all right if Sora appears too?

[gold-panner.livejournal.com]

Ok, I've decided. I'll get into HP fandom once I've finished my Biology, English and Maths assigmnents! I never say no to a good rec, don't worry if you can't stop XD

omg omg you're really going to write it!! :DDDDD of course it's okay if Sora is in there <3 <3 I don't mind if freaking Bambi is in there <3 <3 <3 but I do love Sora. XD Now I'm rambling! *shuts up*

[roterhimmel.livejournal.com]

That many assignments? D: You poor girl. Crossing my fingers for you so it'll all go good!!

You had me laughing at the Bambi thing XD Oh man. Yes, I think Sora's going to be in there. It just might take me some time, sorry. Either way you'll get it :)

[gold-panner.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm starting to hate grade 12. I'm crossing my fingers too >___>

XD Don't you dare apologise! 'When' doesn't matter, if something comes it comes, and in truth I am already stoked enough cause you've offered at all!! XDDD

[bubblegum-miley.livejournal.com]

Society had ridiculous standards! Don't feel pressured or stressed to submit to those standards! From what I can tell, you're fun, intelligent, and going to be very successful! Let all the negative energy just slide away, sistah!

btw, hope you don't mind the add^^ I'm 'Axel' on the HS forums!

[gold-panner.livejournal.com]

Thank you #^^#

OMG YOU FRIENDED ME NOW I CAN SEE ALL YOUR ART!! Thank you!! Uwaa~

[bubblegum-miley.livejournal.com]

o/////o <333

[greatwhitewolf.livejournal.com]

Happy Birthday Wednesday!! 18 is a big number!! Hope you have a good day!

[gold-panner.livejournal.com]

Thanks ^^ if I manage to stop procrastinating and finish my assignments today, tomorrow I will have a great day ;D

[greatwhitewolf.livejournal.com]

Lol. I know how that is. Except I did procrastinate and had to do my Intro to Creative Writing porfolio on my birthday this year. I've definetly had worse birthdays. Hmmm...I can't remember what I did on my 18th birthday. Probably nothing exciting. Oh wait I wasn't in college yet. I didn't graduate for another two months and didn't start college until that fall. So...ah I don't remember.

[gold-panner.livejournal.com]

Turns out assignments<watching brother play FF7... looks like procrastinating wins XD

[greatwhitewolf.livejournal.com]

Lol. It usually does.

[hikaru-88.livejournal.com]

Happy birthday for wednesday! Being 18 is cool your old enough to know better but still young enough to not care, (what about exactly i dont know i was told the same when i turned 18 made sense at the time for some reason.... -_-')

[gold-panner.livejournal.com]

Thank you~ #^^# I will take those words of wisdom to heart. *solemn face*

[bubblegum-miley.livejournal.com]

[bubblegum-miley.livejournal.com]

You live in Australia? D: Then your birthday has passed already? It is Wednesday over here! XD I'm still on time, I say!

Watch my vocab fail!

[gold-panner.livejournal.com]

*flails* ahdkwfhbqw *flails more* THANK YOU SO MUCH OMG that is so cute!! <3

Haha it is Thurdsay here, but it can't be late, cause you sent it forward in time... which logically made it... early! BD Squeal-inducing surprises FTW ^_______^ Thank you!! *glomp from the future!*

Re: Watch my vocab fail!

[bubblegum-miley.livejournal.com]

Yaaaaay! Aha, to the future!! 8DDD *glomp from the past* 8DDDD