Chapter 2 Translation Notes
Oct. 29th, 2009 03:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gold_pannerChapter 2: Seasalt Icecream Translation Notes
~any suggestions or questions on stuff I didn't explain are always welcome!~
+’ It was the first time he’d brushed with a keyblade wielder, even in his memories. He’d heard of them, though.’ You’ve probably noticed that I put character’s thoughts in italics. In the original, it isn’t quite so clear. Narration and character’s POV blend together, and sometimes I’ll be halfway through doing a line or paragraph in one style, and then I’ll find that the tense or the tone of the line means it is the other. Some of the lines in this section with Marly could have been him thinking; there was nothing to say either way.
+’ “…Heartless,” muttered Roxas…’—the words ‘muttered’ and ‘murmured’ are interchangeable. In fact, Japanese as a whole seems to have far less synonyms than English. I look at the context, and pick which one seems to fit better. ‘Murmured’ is softer and maybe more thoughtful, to me. ‘Muttered’ sounds slightly disagreeable. I don’t know. I don’t think the Japanese word has those kinds of connotations at all.
+Just wanted to say that I am torn between being upset at not getting those other cute tutorial scenes… and being happy that I didn’t have to translate more stupid tutorials =_____=
+’ Keeping yourself clean also comes under resting.’—yeah, I don’t know either.
+’ “Journal?”—日誌。Diary, journal, record, log book. Not sure what the game uses. Diary? It might just be me, but diary sounds a bit girly. So, I decided on journal.
+’Larxene sniped’—ラクシーヌに言われて。I didn’t explain it well. In Japanese, when they use the passive tense, it means something is unfortunate, bad. に言われて has the same kind of feeling as ‘oooh, you got told.’ Or, it does to me XD
+’ cranky-pants’—ここツンツン頭。Literally, ‘cranky-head’… but it’s more cute and condescending, so ‘pants’ seemed to fit better XD
+’ Very good job’—ご苦労様です。Zexy is always incredibly polite <3 Ahh… we don’t really say this kind of thing in English. This is like お疲れ様でした、it is a phrase that means something like ‘thank you very much, you must be tired, well done’. People say it to each other at the end of a day of work, or after doing something tough.
+’ “So what do we do now?” asked Axel, in a light tone.’ I got the impression that he was keeping his tone light on purpose.
+’ Close, but no cigar.’—確かにその回答は正解に近い。でも正解じゃない。’That answer is definitely close to being correct. But it’s not correct.’ I tried to make it more natural :x it’s probably a bit failtastic though.
+’ Seems like Roxas and those kids are destined to run into each other or something.’—どうやらロクサス、このこどもたちとよっぽど縁があるらしい。’It looks like Roxas has some kind of destiny with those kids’. I know it doesn’t literally say ‘to run into each other’, but I felt it was implied; I’m pretty sure Axel was speaking slightly sarcastically, but I fail at picking up sarcasm, so. It is pretty ironic in any case.
+’ sensing some kind of pain-in-the-ass atmosphere in the silence.’ Pain-in-the-ass: 面倒くさい。The word in itself is a pain in the ass to translate, cause pain-in-the-ass isn’t an adjective in English, and all the ones I can think of—troublesome, hassling, bothersome—sound waaaay too stiff and clunky to be good translations of this informal word.
+’ Saying it is really freaking embarrassing. But, saying it out loud gives it significance.’—なんだか自分の発している言葉がすごく気恥ずかしい。けれど、言葉は発することで意味を持つ。’My own words that I said out loud are somehow incredibly embarrassing. But, words are made significant through being spoken aloud’. Naww, Axel. <3 Sorry for butchering your lines ;___;
+’ Does that condition have deep meaning?’—The way this was placed in a sentence made it seem like Roxas was thinking this line. But then, it became apparent that the following thinking lines were Axel’s. I’m still confused. I don’t really know whether you’re allowed to switch POV that fast in Japanese…
+’ “Oh, then I’ll also—”— witness my triumph over sentence structure differences BD it sounds a bit too stiff, but it’s the closest I can get, because what he actually said was something like: ‘ah, I’ll -???- too, then.’ Cause, the verb comes last in Japanese sentences. So when they get cut off halfway through a sentence, it’s incredibly hard to translate. I remember Naminé said in the CoM manga something like, ‘because I -???- you…’ which made sense in Japanese, since she cut herself off before she got to the verb, but in English we need. That. Verb. Dammit. You can’t cut it off there and still have the next words.
~any suggestions or questions on stuff I didn't explain are always welcome!~
+’ It was the first time he’d brushed with a keyblade wielder, even in his memories. He’d heard of them, though.’ You’ve probably noticed that I put character’s thoughts in italics. In the original, it isn’t quite so clear. Narration and character’s POV blend together, and sometimes I’ll be halfway through doing a line or paragraph in one style, and then I’ll find that the tense or the tone of the line means it is the other. Some of the lines in this section with Marly could have been him thinking; there was nothing to say either way.
+’ “…Heartless,” muttered Roxas…’—the words ‘muttered’ and ‘murmured’ are interchangeable. In fact, Japanese as a whole seems to have far less synonyms than English. I look at the context, and pick which one seems to fit better. ‘Murmured’ is softer and maybe more thoughtful, to me. ‘Muttered’ sounds slightly disagreeable. I don’t know. I don’t think the Japanese word has those kinds of connotations at all.
+Just wanted to say that I am torn between being upset at not getting those other cute tutorial scenes… and being happy that I didn’t have to translate more stupid tutorials =_____=
+’ Keeping yourself clean also comes under resting.’—yeah, I don’t know either.
+’ “Journal?”—日誌。Diary, journal, record, log book. Not sure what the game uses. Diary? It might just be me, but diary sounds a bit girly. So, I decided on journal.
+’Larxene sniped’—ラクシーヌに言われて。I didn’t explain it well. In Japanese, when they use the passive tense, it means something is unfortunate, bad. に言われて has the same kind of feeling as ‘oooh, you got told.’ Or, it does to me XD
+’ cranky-pants’—ここツンツン頭。Literally, ‘cranky-head’… but it’s more cute and condescending, so ‘pants’ seemed to fit better XD
+’ Very good job’—ご苦労様です。Zexy is always incredibly polite <3 Ahh… we don’t really say this kind of thing in English. This is like お疲れ様でした、it is a phrase that means something like ‘thank you very much, you must be tired, well done’. People say it to each other at the end of a day of work, or after doing something tough.
+’ “So what do we do now?” asked Axel, in a light tone.’ I got the impression that he was keeping his tone light on purpose.
+’ Close, but no cigar.’—確かにその回答は正解に近い。でも正解じゃない。’That answer is definitely close to being correct. But it’s not correct.’ I tried to make it more natural :x it’s probably a bit failtastic though.
+’ Seems like Roxas and those kids are destined to run into each other or something.’—どうやらロクサス、このこどもたちとよっぽど縁があるらしい。’It looks like Roxas has some kind of destiny with those kids’. I know it doesn’t literally say ‘to run into each other’, but I felt it was implied; I’m pretty sure Axel was speaking slightly sarcastically, but I fail at picking up sarcasm, so. It is pretty ironic in any case.
+’ sensing some kind of pain-in-the-ass atmosphere in the silence.’ Pain-in-the-ass: 面倒くさい。The word in itself is a pain in the ass to translate, cause pain-in-the-ass isn’t an adjective in English, and all the ones I can think of—troublesome, hassling, bothersome—sound waaaay too stiff and clunky to be good translations of this informal word.
+’ Saying it is really freaking embarrassing. But, saying it out loud gives it significance.’—なんだか自分の発している言葉がすごく気恥ずかしい。けれど、言葉は発することで意味を持つ。’My own words that I said out loud are somehow incredibly embarrassing. But, words are made significant through being spoken aloud’. Naww, Axel. <3 Sorry for butchering your lines ;___;
+’ Does that condition have deep meaning?’—The way this was placed in a sentence made it seem like Roxas was thinking this line. But then, it became apparent that the following thinking lines were Axel’s. I’m still confused. I don’t really know whether you’re allowed to switch POV that fast in Japanese…
+’ “Oh, then I’ll also—”— witness my triumph over sentence structure differences BD it sounds a bit too stiff, but it’s the closest I can get, because what he actually said was something like: ‘ah, I’ll -???- too, then.’ Cause, the verb comes last in Japanese sentences. So when they get cut off halfway through a sentence, it’s incredibly hard to translate. I remember Naminé said in the CoM manga something like, ‘because I -???- you…’ which made sense in Japanese, since she cut herself off before she got to the verb, but in English we need. That. Verb. Dammit. You can’t cut it off there and still have the next words.
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no subject
Date: 2009-10-29 05:13 pm (UTC)I'd say that's a referrence to "personal grooming".
And yay, I shall comment on this and the actual translations properly when I get up tomorrow (haha, why am I awake this late...?), but that just caught my eye before I get to bed XD
no subject
Date: 2009-10-29 07:18 pm (UTC)+’ “Journal?”—日誌。Diary, journal, record, log book. Not sure what the game uses. Diary? It might just be me, but diary sounds a bit girly. So, I decided on journal.
I'm pretty sure the game uses 'diary'. I only remember this because the Japanese version has the horribly engrish-y "Roxas Diary" as the title XD
+’Larxene sniped’—ラクシーヌに言われて。I didn’t explain it well. In Japanese, when they use the passive tense, it means something is unfortunate, bad. に言われて has the same kind of feeling as ‘oooh, you got told.’ Or, it does to me XD
Omg, really? That is awesome, I will have to remember that and use it sometime :D
+’ cranky-pants’—ここツンツン頭。Literally, ‘cranky-head’… but it’s more cute and condescending, so ‘pants’ seemed to fit better XD
XD 'cranky-pants' ftw.
+’ Very good job’—ご苦労様です。Zexy is always incredibly polite <3 Ahh… we don’t really say this kind of thing in English. This is like お疲れ様でした、it is a phrase that means something like ‘thank you very much, you must be tired, well done’. People say it to each other at the end of a day of work, or after doing something tough.
And always uses so much kanji... ''orz
+’ sensing some kind of pain-in-the-ass atmosphere in the silence.’ Pain-in-the-ass: 面倒くさい。The word in itself is a pain in the ass to translate, cause pain-in-the-ass isn’t an adjective in English, and all the ones I can think of—troublesome, hassling, bothersome—sound waaaay too stiff and clunky to be good translations of this informal word.
Oh, I wondered about that! When I first read it I couldn't figure out what it meant lol
Umm... as for suggestions, first I thought of 'annoying', which doesn't really work. But then I thought of 'awkward', which is a biiit of a stretch (unless you break the word down into "mendou" and "kusai" :P) but that's how the scene came across to me anyway.
+’ Saying it is really freaking embarrassing. But, saying it out loud gives it significance.’—なんだか自分の発している言葉がすごく気恥ずかしい。けれど、言葉は発することで意味を持つ。’My own words that I said out loud are somehow incredibly embarrassing. But, words are made significant through being spoken aloud’. Naww, Axel. <3 Sorry for butchering your lines ;___;
Aww, I liked that line :3 I thought you did a good job with the translation.
Thank you once again for the translations and the notes <333
no subject
Date: 2009-10-29 07:39 pm (UTC)+’ “So what do we do now?” asked Axel, in a light tone.’ I got the impression that he was keeping his tone light on purpose.
I just wanted to say I love this line. I imagined Axel to be trying to be subtle and failing hard, but the only reason he doesn't get called on it is because it's Roxas XD So yeah. It gave me a giggle and uh, LOL LISTEN TO MY TL;DR-ing >.>
no subject
Date: 2009-10-30 09:18 am (UTC)+diary: yeah, the game does use diary. but... i have decided to leave it journal :P
+awkward: well, I dunno. awkward kind of means it's uncomfortable, whereas the word he uses means it was more a hassle for him... he was more irritated at the complication than uncomfortable? XD jeez, it's hard...
Thanks for the feedbacl <3 I appreciate it so much, *loves on you*
no subject
Date: 2009-10-31 03:02 pm (UTC)oh, haha, I mis-read it. Nevermind ^-^;
+diary: yeah, the game does use diary. but... i have decided to leave it journal :P
Yeah, I do agree journal is definitely more suitable, I was just pointing out what was used in the game. (And as it is Saix who says it... yeah, I cant really see him saying 'diary' XD)
+awkward: well, I dunno. awkward kind of means it's uncomfortable, whereas the word he uses means it was more a hassle for him... he was more irritated at the complication than uncomfortable? XD jeez, it's hard...
XD there just doesn't seem to be the right word, does there? I suggested 'awkward' only because that's the way the scene comes across to me, rather than what the word actually means unless you twist it (._. which is a horrible thing to do, I know.)
I had a look in a thesaurus and came up with 'exasperating', which is a good word, but I think that might not work either. Oh! I just saw a good one actually - how about 'irksome'? That would work, while not being too formal.
You're welcome! <333 *loves back*
no subject
Date: 2009-11-01 07:03 am (UTC)Those words are good, exasperating... but they don't have the same slangy careless connotations as 面倒くさい does. It's so hard!! Gah. Eh, I'll leave it the way it is. Unless it sounds too weird? D:
Thank you for your suggestions ♥ and thank you for taking the time to look this crap up for me!!!